We probably won’t be able to talk about this on our radio program (lots of young ears, we understand), but it is a question worth discussing. What do you tell your children about Santa? Here is a great post from The Cripplegate Blog about what to say—and what not to say—about the myth that is jolly ‘ol St. Nick. Do you agree? How have you handled it with your kids? Add your 2 cents to the Comments Section:
Why Lie to Your Kids about Santa? | The Cripplegate
by Clint Archer
I’m no Scrooge. I lodge no objections to celebrating Christmas or singing inane jingles, like Jingle Bells. My family understands that, pagan roots aside, the plastic conifer in our living room is not a subtle mark of our allegiance to the forces of darkness. It’s a tree (model).
We do, however, prefer singing “Hark the Herald Angel Sings” over the misdirected praise of “Oh Christmas Tree,” though I’m not even fanatic about enforcing that.
We tolerate the poetic inaccuracy of “We three kings of Orient are” because it rolls off the tongue better than “We indeterminable number of Gentile scholars of Persia are.”
But… I am nervous about the potential confusion which may cloud a 4 year old’s faith in my honesty.
Angels on high, a pregnant virgin, God in a manger, a guiding star… are impossibilities. Yet, “all things are possible with God.” [Yes, you need to believe in the virgin birth to be a Christian] We ask our children to trust us on these claims with their lives. Then we add a fictitious, omniscient fat guy with a red-nosed reindeer to the mix. At a certain age we matter-of-factly disclose that we were just kidding about the chimney intrusion, the Elven workshop, and the works-based naughty-or-nice judgment. “Those parts are make-believe, the rest is gospel truth. Trust me, son.”
Misinformation has a way of taking root in our memories. Do you picture the stable with oxen lowing on a silent night? Were the angels actually singing? Was there a villainous inn keeper? These details are not found in Scripture.
Three kings? Nope. How many seminary students have been disabused of their favorite nativity character, the little drummer boy, in NT survey?
The mythology of Father Christmas, as we call him in Africa, runs parallel to biblical truth, until it dead-ends in one of the (hopefully) pre-teen years. But has the damage to parental credibility already been done? A parody of one consequence is epitomized by that poor, traumatized kid who laments, “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” I doubt therapy was needed for the child to overcome his confusion. But there does exist a subtle long-term danger, namely that of placing impossible fiction on the same shelf as impossible fact and forcing our children to discern arbitrarily which is which, based on our flip-flopping propositions.
Is it any wonder that adults who, at one time believed their Sunday school teachers, eventually conclude, “The Bible sounds like a fairy tale”? These skeptics were expected to outgrow some of what they were taught by their parents. Why not more of it? Why not all that sounds impossible?
I never want my children to have this existential monologue in junior high: “Daddy told me about a six day creation, virgin birth, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, angels, and fairies. Then he said he was only joking about half the stuff. I felt gullible for falling for it. Mmm. I wonder if my science teacher is right about Evolution? What other nonsense has been fed to me as fact?”
So what do I tell my children when they see other kids queueing to meet one of the ubiquitous middle-aged, overweight men with fake beards offering a lap and a promise of gifts? I tell them the truth: “Look, it’s a pretend Santa.” This will be in the context of the conversation we had, where I explained that part of Christmas fun is pretending there is a man who lives in the North Pole who gives presents. I’ll also tell them about the real Nicholas who ministered in Turkey. Pretend can still be fun. I love fiction and imagination. I offer them Narnia too. But there is a thin line between fiction and fallacy.
I want my children to grow up knowing that their dad never, ever lies to them. About anything. This may lead to some awkward moments in life, like a premature discussion about where babies come from. But surely adding a stork to the catalogue of misinformation can’t be a better tactic than opting for truth in every situation.
The precious attributes of God’s omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence, are grotesquely caricatured by Santa-lore. Contemplate the lyrics which describe what our children think of this demagogue, ”He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.”
I’m interested to hear your views. In the meantime, I have a nativity set to go re-arrange (the indeterminable scholars from Persia will only arrive in 2 years time, and they’ll show up at the “house” not the stable). Another bubble burst in the battle for truth; a small price to pay for not abusing the unwavering trust my children have in their dad.
What do you think, am I going too far?
Okay parents, weigh in:
Hello, I am 14 years old and my parents let me grow up believing in
Santa Claus when I was little. I didn’t turn out to be a bad child and I never doubt my parents. When I was little, my parents always made sure they kept God and Santa on different levels of power. Santa was merely a man who gave out presents with magic, but god was always god and Jesus was always there and held infinate power. Because of this separation, when I started having my doubts about the bearded man in the red suit, ther were no doubts at all in my mind about God. The separation of God and Santa in a child’s mind is all reflected on the parents and how they portray the two.
Excellent point, Ellen. You are blessed to have parents who gave you the best perspective about Jesus.
We never lied to our kids about Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy etc. either. We did not want any confusion between God and Santa. We still gave them gifts at Christmas, put money under their pillows when they lost a tooth and had egg hunts in the spring. They still had fun. That didn’t ruin anything. We are not to be conformed to this world. The Bible teaches that Satan is the father of lies and that no lie is of the truth. Revelation 22:15 says “But outside are dogs and sorcerers and sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters and whoever loves and practices a lie. I think celebrating Santa every year is practicing a lie. That’s just my two cents worth.
We watched Veggie Tales ‘Saint Nicholas’ with our daughter and did other things. I never bought into the cultural little imp that so many christians now like to call ‘Satan Claus.’ Its sad that we are at the point where our culture accepts the replacement of Santa Claus as the magical giver of gifts to our kids, even promotes it. It is an insult both to Christ and to the man Saint Nicholas, who actually existed.
It is hard because most families start by just going along and then when you bring it up its ‘Oh its just the holidays!’ or some other excuse. But in reality we have taken a day called Christmas (Christ-mass) and turned it into a story about the power of believing in a magic king of the elves who lives at the north pole. If we are honest isn’t the modern Santa at least a mockery of Christ? The Easter bunny is the same sort of nonsense – as if to say that it is just as believable that a bunny lays chocolate eggs as that Savior was raised from the dead for our justification.
I think American christians are far too quiet about these things. At the same time celebrating any holiday is within our liberty as Christians as long as it does not insult God’s Spirit. The parameters of that liberty are all laid out in Scripture.
We get a christmas tree, we put gifts out on Christimas day or Christmas Eve. We talk specifically about how Jesus is the point and that we can only give gifts because He gives gifts to us, the most important being Himself.
All that said, when you couple how the media wants our kids to think about Christmas with the possiblity of giving them Joel Osteen’s new game for Christmas its all pretty antichrist isn’t it? Can we admit that our culture is promoting a way of thinking that essentially makes us the center of the universe? How much more substitute-christ can you get?
They always speak of the proverbial ‘canary in the coal mine,’ form what many of us see the ground is shaking with the chorus of millions of canaries.
May God have mercy on a Nation that once loved His word.
Well said! I celebrate these holidays with my kids with complete emphasis on the Christian values and beliefs, not Santa or the Easter bunny or the tooth fairy or anything else made up. I come across a lot of people (believers and non) who question why I would take something so fun and harmless away from my kids. I always respond that the holidays are still very special and exciting for my kids but it is because of the traditions that we have developed that honor Jesus Christ, not Santa. I will never regret choosing to celebrate in a way that will not change as my kids get older and I believe that they will say same. They know the meanings of Christmas and Easter and that means more to me than anything else. Thank you for the article. I intend to pass it along.
I do not have children yet but if I am gifted with being a mother I will not teach Santa or the others of the mythical characters. It caused a lot of confusion for me not just the fact that my parents had outright lied for the sake of “building my imagination” but that I had to keep up the lie for my parents after I found out for the sake of my younger sibling. I will however teach about the roots of the Santa myth possibly celebrating the real people behind them but I refuse to continue a doubt sowing lie. I feel that teaching the lies of these holiday characters creates a cynicism on everything in life once it is found out especially with God. Just as a proposal to those who feel that this stance would take away from the fun and joy of the holiday for a child think about how toddling tots are just as happy playing with the box the toy came in as much if not more than the toy. It is my opinion we are conditioned to prefer the toy over the box just we are conditioned to love and find the fun of the holiday in the fictional charterers rather than finding it in the reason for the holiday.
Isn’t lying taught in the home by our conduct more than our words.
We are talking about telling the truth trying to be that perfect example at least in what we speak. When what we should perhaps display is a broken and contrite heart towards God. One where there is acknowleging our faults and failures in ourselves and desire to turn from them, instead of covering them up or making them less apparent by belittling others.
Where is there room for pride in ourselves or in any man for that matter, for those borne of the Spirit. We should rather pray continually for repentance in light of our depravity. The only difference between the wicked and the righteous is the righteous trust they are not right in anything and rather place their Hope in the One Living God who is right in everything. This is not our doing, so what can we boast.
If this is our guide the rest will sort itself out.